…or you may step out of the shower one day, attempt to put some pants on, and wind up lying on the floor in agony wishing someone would come and inject some morphine into your spine. Luckily I had my phone with me and was able to call a health advice line, where they basically told me to call an ambulance, which seemed a bit excessive (the pain had subsided by this point so long as I didn’t move). So instead I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling for a bit, then rolled onto my side and stared at the wall for a bit, then rolled onto my stomach and observed the carpet for a bit, then finally managed get up onto all fours and crawl to the arm of a sofa where I spent another fifteen minutes or so hauling myself into a kneeling position.

An hour or so (and some codeine + paracetamol) later and I am sitting bolt upright in a chair wondering if I’ll be able to stand up again anytime soon, but planning to do some research before I try.