• It will support stylus [pressure sensitive] input as well as multitouch
• It will be OLED all the way, even though rumors have been saying that supply isn’t available
• It will cost a small fortune (see previous point)
• It will support multi-tasking, unlike current iPhone OS 3 (possibly it will be running iPhone OS 4)
• I will spend a significant amount of time this year attempting to develop for whatever the hell this thing is, since I missed the first wave of iPhone development where people made millions selling apps they couldn’t give away on any other platform, and I will stupidly assume that history will repeat itself
• It will be round, and the edges will be sharp enough to cut cheese
• Something about this keynote will make me mad that I only just bought an iPhone 3GS
• This will be Steve Jobs’ final product intro, and fictional agent Jack Bauer will storm the stage to deliver the device into his hands at the last possible moment
• It will be called the Newton, just to fuck with everyone
• But seriously, maybe this will be the first Apple product in ages to have neither an i nor a Mac prefix in the name

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UPDATE: specs are published, and I am sadly underwhelmed (although yet to watch the keynote so maybe Steve can spin it spectacularly well). Why I feel deflated:

•  It looks exactly like a giant iPod Touch, right down to the home screen, so all the unimaginative mock ups were actually dead accurate.
• 1024 x 768? WTF. That means only 130 DPI, which means you’ll be able to see the damn pixels as your holding it in your hands! How the hell is this going to revolutionize publishing when it can’t come close to the resolution of paper and e-ink displays?
• LCD display (LED backlit woooo), which also means will not compete well with print and e-ink in readability and comfort (OLED would have at least put it in the ballpark)
• 4:3 screen aspect? So the stupid thing isn’t even going to look sexy watching movies, with unwanted bars or cropping.
• No stylus input (I know there are special “pretend finger” stylii out there, but I am talking about a pen)
• No multitasking!
• Dongles? For USB? For freakin’ SD??? You’ve got to be kidding.
• No camera, but who really cares at this point.

*Sigh* at least I don’t have to rush out and buy one, and can focus on iPhone development instead of a fundamentally different platform.

Because this is what it’s like trying to browse using the currently available ultra-portable computers (with 10″ screen):

The area in white is the “active” area of Google Reader, ie the bit that actually contains the content and scrolls– at 248 pixels high it comprises less than half the total screen, which is only 600 pixels to begin with. This is just ridiculous. It’s a total fucking waste of pixels.

Apple’s tablet (which I doubt will be called the iSlate because it sounds crummy and a bit like “isolate”… and at some point they’re bound to drop the “i” from their product line) will probably be used mostly in portrait orientation, immediately addressing the problem of the unreadable short and wide page. It will probably be higher resolution so text will be crisper (I’m guessing 1440 x 960, which would be lovely and would keep the 3:2 aspect of the iPod Touch and iPhone with dimensions scaled by a factor of 3). It will have a clean and unobtrusive UI minimizing the amount of unnecessary junk onscreen and reclaiming at least half of the real estate that standard desktop GUIs currently waste.

Even though I bought this junkbook (HP mini 110-1197TU) today*, I can’t wait for it to be rendered useless by a soon-to-be-announced reorientable multi-touch expensive thingamabob. As a friend pointed out recently, the greatest feature on a netbook is the “stand” – ie the fact that the keyboard part acts as a stable base. If Apple can solve this too, eg with an unobtrusive foldout for standing the thing up on its own (like a picture frame) then they will truly deserve their success.

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* for traveling with… I just wanted something small I can type and watch movies on, and the iPod Touch is a little too small and proprietary about its media support.