Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim 

I played this game recently… for all of about 30 minutes. I really hated it, largely because:

• I think dragons are dumb.
• I think magic is even dumber than dragons.
• I hate fighting with a sword, especially when you have to do it using a standard game controller.
• I hate the idea of a world so clearly divided into races like Aryan dude, Broad-featured warrior dude, Hideous elf dude, and Person with lizard or cat head, as though these are all equally different.
• I can’t accept the idea of a world where there are peaceful villages and yet somehow every single goddamn person you meet immediately tries to kill you. It’s like Mad Max meets Lord of the Rings.
• I wanted a horse, and it wasn’t clear how long I’d have to trudge around this stupid world before I got one. Riding a horse is about the only cool thing I can think of about being stuck in a stupid medieval/fantasy world.

Apart from the fact that this game clearly wasn’t made for me, I was also totally underwhelmed by the quality of the landscape. When in the open it all looked toylike and lifeless; when in a village it looked visually muddy. Possibly this is just a problem with the PS3 version, I don’t know.

Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

This was pretty good, very story-driven with massive action set-pieces. But it felt a bit too similar to Uncharted 2, especially the final chapter. One thing I was grateful for is that the final scene wasn’t a stupid impossible boss battle as it was in the previous game.

I got to ride a horse in this but truly the physics were terrible and it was more like I was wearing a horse than riding it; the way it swayed weightlessly with my movements.

It’s sort of got magic in it too, but it’s more vague Indiana Jones style magic than bullshit potion and spell collecting magic.

The Uncharted series is well written and doesn’t take itself too seriously, and has some of the best hair and butt modelling in its class today.

Battlefield 3

This looked great, but for some reason I found it annoying. Especially a particular scene where I needed to sprint from one rooftop to another to take out an escaping car. I kept failing and having to try again, and the load time was about twice as long as the sequence itself, so it drove me a bit mad and I just abandoned it.

Modern Warfare 3

This one also looked great, but also kept the story moving nicely and was basically just easier to roll through. I was actually surprised to finish this one because I was just playing it for an hour here or there to take a break from work. All you have to do is follow the white dot to whatever the hell you’re supposed to blow-up/murder next.