The final hours of this weird decade

Friday, Dec 31, 2010 – 11 PM-ish

I remember when 2000 seemed so far away, and how I would be all of 28 years old should I live to see it. I remember wondering what we would call the years (oughties, noughties etc). And the dreaded Y2K bug. And the 2000 vs 2001 pedants. Now 2010 is already come and gone, and WTF seriously we are already done with the first decade of the third millenium!?!

Being currently between houses, jobs and every other kind of milestone people use to map their life’s journeys, it’s a bit of a weird one for me. No idea what the future holds, no idea if I’ll be looking for work again or whether I’ll find the discipline to make it on my own. No idea whether I’ll ever have kids of my own. No idea what I want or expect from life really. I used to love the idea of tabula rasa, but it’s really starting to lose its appeal as my 40s loom.

I should probably point out that I am a bit drunk right now, hence a little maudlin. I plan to get significantly more drunk as the year closes, and watch the fireworks from the roof (although booze and roof don’t usually mix so great, so I mustn’t get too carried away).

Saturday, Jan 1, 2011 – 12:27 AM

Hooray! I’m still alive after climbing through the hole in the roof and watching the fireworks, which from this distance recall to mind the bombing of a city combined with the opening shot from Bladerunner. The city is now cloaked in smoke (we’ve had smokeless bullets for a while, maybe someone needs to invent smokeless fireworks?)

My first pronouncement of 2011… JujuEdit is DEAD! Sorry for the poor souls who have been holding out in the vain hope that I would release an update with improvements and bug fixes and such, but I can’t be arsed working with Windows desktop apps any more I’m afraid. I hardly use Windows myself anymore, and now that I’ve ported most of my codebase to OS X and iOS I am no longer chained to that platform. If I ever finish Drivey then it will certainly be available for Windows, but only by virtue of the fact that it won’t use any Windows API.

My second pronouncement is that I will be snogging someone come NYE 2011/12, since there’s no crappier time to not have a girlfriend than the countdown to the new year. Poor lonely me boo hoo. I need to meet a girl who’s awesome enough to make me want to be more awesome but not so awesome as to intimidate me into fearing that I cannot live up to her awesome expectations. She may or may not want kids, since I may or may not want kids… I can never make up my mind on this one. Kids are so great when you’re allowed to leave at any time (I have three adorable nieces who act as my alarm clock right now) but I’m still so damn narcissistic it’s hard to imagine committing to the long haul of actually raising them.

My third pronouncement… lose the flab! Yes this is sooo original I know but I really would look and feel so much better if I could just drop another 8 or 9 kilos.

Ah… I was just about to complain about not being drunk enough, having consumed more than a third of a bottle of vodka (I am a fairly cheap drunk; this should be more than enough) when I realized I’m kind of smiling and nodding like an idiot as I type this…. I guess it’s finally kicking in :)

My fourth pronouncement… ermmmmmmmmmmmm…. really I’m a simple guy with simple needs. I think my second pronouncement says much about what I’m really missing from life. I guess it should be something about my plans to build financial security and success and such but really that all seems kind of hollow if you don’t have someone to come home to. All you people reading this who are in relationships (statistically I think this should be most of you)– I know there are times when things aren’t going so great and you wonder what it might be like to be out there on your own being able to do whatever you like– just remember that very few of the times you look back on with fondness were times you spent alone. Don’t take your partner for granted, and appreciate the little things, the private jokes, the shared experiences, the little rituals, the comfortable if not particularly exciting sex [edit: I know “comfortable” sounds terribly pejorative here but it is not intended as such– comfortable is good!]. When you’re single you don’t get those things, and it kind of blows sometimes. Having someone who knows you and knows what you’re thinking without you having to spell it out is kind of awesome, and I really miss it.

My fifth pronouncement… I’m going to unpack my coffee machine tomorrow. Other people may not like my coffee (you know who you are) but I think it’s great. I may have a stonking great hangover I suppose but that will just make me want a coffee all the more. I miss my old house which was so beautiful and spacious (but too expensive) there was plenty of room for a coffee machine there. The thing I hate most about renting in and around Sydney is that you feel like you have to beg to get a place. Please please accept massive amounts of money so I may reside within your building and still be treated like a second class citizen! Oh please may I affix a small picture to the wall.. I know it’s a HUGE fucking liberty to expect to be able to feel any sense of ownership over my own fucking space…

I just missed out on a house even though I offered to pay 3 months rent in advance, and now it’s the new year there are going to be that many more people looking. I blame the goddamn speculative investor and fucking negative gearing for the rental shortage… unless you’re actually leasing a house to someone you shouldn’t be able to claim it as a goddamn investment!

1:51 AM

Ok, make that half a bottle of vodka and I think that’s quite enough for me now. I believe this is actually my first time drunk-blogging… it’s actually quite fun, although there’s always the chance that I’ll just delete most of it tomorrow. Also it’s a pain with the number of typos I am making… correcting them slows my speed to something like 25% normal.

Not sure why I use the word “pronouncement” instead of “resolution”… consider them the same thing here.

Happy new year btw!

2:38 AM

Using a dating website while inebriated in the wee hours of new year’s day is probably not the wisest idea… at least I’m not the only one. Lotta lonely people right about now…

3:00 AM

Ah fuck it, I never do this so getting totally hammered just this once is no big deal… I know I’ll regret it tomorrow but that’s the price many people will be paying. Also the fireworks were too damn short! All of 12 minutes! I climbed up to the roof you bastards!

4:00 AM

Seriously lolling in my chair now, unable to really offer much insight about anything. Except this online dating thing… I use RSVP which is this bullshit Australian site which charges a fortune just to contact someone, and one thing that really bugs me is that it wants me to respond to *all* contacts, even those I’m not interested in. Personally I think that’s bullshit, since if I contact someone and basically say “hey I think you’re cute and interesting all at the same time!” I really don’t want a response unless it’s positive. I think that if they’re not interested they should simply ignore me, and then I can go about my business and simply forget about the whole thing. WHEREAS… if I get a reply that says “so-and-so is not interested, good luck in your search”, in my mind that is tantamount to “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOU EXECRABLE WORM! SHE IS TOTALLY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE AND YOU KNOW IT!”

4:14 AM

Ehh I’m done now… good night and happy new year etc

11PM-ish

Coffee machine is now set up in my room… ahhh I need that steamed milk. Hangover was no big deal at all, mild headache which was dispatched pretty quick with coffee and paracetamol. Went to the local pool with the nieces and slept for a good portion of the day, so not a bad start to 2011.