The Mysterious Dancing Sausage
On Monday morning I decided to cook myself some breakfast, specifically sausages and eggs. Whilst frying the sausages however, I got a surprise, when the unusual thing that I’ve already referred to in the title started happening… so by now you are probably less surprised than if I had built up to this fact without giving it away.
Catchy Title or Surprising Twist, sometimes you can’t have both.
Anyway, you might be wondering just what the hell I mean by “dancing”, and yes, to say the sausage was dancing is probably is a bit of a stretch. What it was doing was more “playfully rolling” back and forth without me even touching the pan. It was doing this a lot, and even after I manually stopped it it would go right back to doing laps.
Are you getting spooked yet? I know I was. Perhaps this was some sort of physical manifestation of a restless spirit, attempting to communicate some important piece of information to me so that they could finally be at peace. Via sausage.
Or perhaps the pan was simply hot enough that the sausage was being constantly lifted by a cushion of its own steam, with the net effect that it was always “rolling down hill” which ever way it was going, always falling forward from its cushion of steam.
The moral of this rather anti-climactic little tale is this:
Use Your Brain.
There are too many people who would stop before the “Or perhaps…” part of this story, convincing themselves that they were witness not only to the paranormal, but to a paranormal event of great personal significance to them.
I cite the case of a sad female guest on James Van Praagh’s show, who told a story so dismally stupid that even Van Praagh had to look at his feet and change the subject. She told of how twice she had seen the toilet paper completely unroll itself from the dispenser onto the floor of her bathroom, all by itself, and that when this happened she would look out into her backyard, and sure enough, she would see a leaf wave at her. And she knew that this was all her dear departed one saying hello to her. I have a mental picture of her standing there misty eyed, doing absolutely nothing as an entire roll of toilet paper piles up on her floor.
When I’m dead, I think I’ll come back and communicate with my loved ones by knocking their toothbrushes into the toilet; I can think of no better way to tell them that I miss them but that things are going fine on The Other Side.
On a related note, beware of people who make it a point of pride to never absorb any technical or scientific information, and yet can suddenly grant themselves the authority to say that something is “scientifically impossible” in order to justify their lame-ass paranormal experience.
