This is another one of those "Holy crap is that the time?!" entries, inspired by a few different things: 1) A best of 1997 music selection on television has featured at least four songs which I can’t believe are more than five years old. 2) I bought some bed sheets, or Manchester as it is still referred to in Australasia, and 3) A teenage girl called me sir and asked me to purchase fireworks for her.

Music-wise, I have to admit, I’m turning into an old fart. Artists who have annoyed me this week include Justin Timberlake, Chamillionaire, Janet Jackson and (especially) Panic! at the Disco. See how old I sound? But then, it’s not all bad. Browsing the current top 40 here I see a few songs there that I do actually like. My favourite in the list would be Youthgroup’s Forever Young, though mostly for the vintage skateboarding footage featured in the video.

Manchester. Nice place name, but as a euphemism for sheets and stuff it’s kind of grating. In the same way that the singular form of the word pants is grating. Pant. Or even worse, "Cotton pant" [shudders] Must be spoken softly by a woman with lateral lisp for full effect. Goes well with phrases like "slight bladder weakness." In fact, it turns out I bought a pant myself this very day; it actually says PANT on the docket, and I see now I also purchased a FASHION TEE— Jesus was I shopping in the women’s section by mistake?

Anyhow, the point I wanted to make about MANCHESTER is that it’s taken me 34 years to understand why I shouldn’t always buy the cheapest sheets I can find. And now that I’ve finally realized how ignorant I’ve been, I am never going back! Even if it means I have to sacrifice other luxuries, like food, I will never buy anything with a thread count under 220 again. Cheap sheets pill within days, and some discount flannelette sheets I got for winter simply moulted, such that I am still picking beige balls of fluff from my wardrobe. These new sheets are crispy and thick and make it feel like I am sleeping in someone else’s bed (someone who gives a crap about bedlinen). Considering how much time we spend in contact with sheets, I don’t know why it took so long for the importance of of sheets to sink in. Manchester.

Purchasing fireworks for minors— I declined, a no brainer. Young people make me nervous at the best of times, so making any sort of dodgy deal with them is right out. Funny to be called sir though, since it made me instantly assume she worked in the shop and wanted to search my bag or something. Depending on how many fires are started (and children maimed) this may be the last time fireworks can be purchased without a license in NZ.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 28th, 2006 at 11:42 pm and is filed under Bollocks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.